Morcheeba: Women Lose Weight

WOMEN LOSE WEIGHT
/Morcheeba/

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor

The name of this entertainment is: 'Women lose weight'
Our first years of marriage everything was just great
But after two kids and the weight gain factor
The fact is now she's completely unattractive
Look, fat chicks, I don't mean to sound rude
I tell her nice: 'Hit the gym and don't eat so much food'
But 'No, you're shallow,
You need to run the course of unconditional love and so forth'
But how, if desire's not there that's just delayment
Divorce is child support, alimony payments
My unhappiness I doubt discouraged
So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage
Meanwhile my secretary June, well groomed:
'When you gonna leave your wife?'
I tell her: 'Soon, Monny, soon I assume'
Or my destiny is blue
Interestingly the only thing left for me to do
Is to kill her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor
I'm gonna have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
I'll send that ass right to the morgue miss
Kill her
What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor
I'm gonna have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
I'll send that ass right to the morgue miss

My plans against or shenanigans kinda ran thin
Knowing nothing about poisoning and I can't swim
Bad intentions pumping might as well become numb
Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong
But the catch is do I have the nerve to dispatch this
Who can I get to help me murder this fat chick?
I guess I'll have to play a dude robbing
On Wednesday, the day she usually goes food shopping
Anyway, long story, short, hit the side of her Chrysler
And sent it clean over the divider
'You bastard', she said as the wreck went tumbling down the hill
I thought she has to be dead
Later on, get a call from a Lieutenant O'Rourke
Had me leaping like a frog
'We need you at the morgue'
So I selfishly pursue
Boo hoo, there was nothing else left for me to do
I had to kill her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor
Come on, ya all know I had to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
I'll send that ass right to the morgue miss
Killed her
What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor
I had to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
I'll send that ass right to the morgue miss

'So you mean to tell me, officer, you don't have no clue who did this hit and run?'
'No, sorry, we don't have no clues right now.'
'This is terrible. What am I gonna tell the kids?'
'Pull yourself together, sir.'
'I'm so broken of this, sir. I just can't believe this.'
'I understand, understand.'
'Catch the person who did this.'
'We're gonna try, sir.'
'Please!'

Screaming who done took my heart
Acting shaken up a lot
At the funeral, though everyone was looking at me odd
Like I did it
Like I was the reason my mates slain
Murmuring: 'I heard he was displeased with her weight gain'
While my secretary, sort of a sexy blonde, can't cook
All she does is order from restaurants
All of the sex you want
I doubt could address
Clothes not washed proper and house look a mess
And talking to detective that was waiting outside
How I took a long lunch break day the wife died
I darn near turned pale
And because of betrayal
They indicted me and gave me an impossible bail
Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent
Moral of the story is desire is important
So watch your weight, it will keep your mate smitten
It's a given
Though looking back I realise I didn't have to kill her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor
I didn't have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
I'll send that ass right to the morgue miss
Killed her
What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor
I didn't have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces divorces
I'll send that ass right to the morgue miss

Well, there you have it
Keep trim, keep your marriages healthy
You know what I mean
A small message from Morcheeba and Slick Rick the ruler
Peace


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